HT username: John_Simmons

Team name: Londonium FC

League: III.3

How many seasons have you played Hattrick? This will be my 12th full season. Too many to still be in division III really.

Honours? Series Champion V.225 Season 19, Series Champion IV.32 Season 23.

How did you find Hattrick? I was playing on Bruce’s Paranormal Deathmatch when the game went down. I decided to look at all the accessible parts of the site – one being the links page. It was here that I found our beloved game.

How much time do you spend on average, per day, on Hattrick? That’s a tough one. I used to be on Hattrick loads when I had the internet at my uni pad. But final year I decided against having the net, as it would’ve been more of a distraction than anything else. So I’m probably only ever on hattrick about 3 days a week now. But a couple of hours a time I guess.

Where did your Hattrick team name come from? Well Londinium is Latin for London so I took it from that. But I altered it a touch because I wanted ‘ London’ in the team name. So yeah, that’s the reason for my mispelt name.

Any significance for your team’s strip? Not really. I just like red and yellow kits. I think they go well. I also like black and purple, but thought a blue ensemble would make for a better away kit.

What is the “weird” thing you do in Hattrick that really doesn’t make any sense? The weird thing I do? I used to make extended press announcements in my series conference when I had more time on my hands. They used to span a thousand words sometimes. I loved writing them though, they were awesome!

What ambitions do you have in the game, how far would you dream of going? Obviously I want to become the best team in the country. I love the community on hattrick, but it is still a game that I’m quite competitive at. I want to win. I guess taking it in stages is the only way. Reach div II, then the Premier league, then do something in the cup, and then maybe end with some international success. But all that is quite a way off I think.

How did you discover the wonders of the THFC Fed? Being a spurs fan it was the first thing I searched for when I was looking for a federation to join. The THFC fed was the biggest spurs fed so it was the natural place to go. I think this is a good place in the interview to mention that it was originally Zorbathegeek who bought me my first supporter. It was a completely out of the blue gesture that was much appreciated. He’s a top guy.

Why did you become a Spurs supporter? My Dad hates this story as he doesn’t really like spurs and yet is quite responsible for my supporting them. It was at one of his football team’s parties. All the kids were getting restless so the manager sent us upstairs to watch a video. The only video he had was of the Spurs glory days. I was only 5 or so and yet I was totally mesmerised. I’ve never looked back since.

Favourite current Spurs player? There are loads I like these days. Better than five or so years ago anyway. Robbo is class. He’s Spurs through and through. Ledders is just immense and a total legend. Then there’s Carrick who’s going to be amazing for us for many seasons to come. Plus we’ve got Keano up front. Someone I’ve always loved due to my Irish links. If we keep that backbone we’ll always do ok.

Greatest ever Spurs player? This is a tough question as we’ve had so many legends in the past. I can’t say the best ever player because I didn’t see them all. So the best player of my era would be Teddy. He’s was, and still is, immense. He made football look so easy. His brain was second to none. A total genius.

Worst ever Spurs player? For all our greats we’ve had a few nightmares. Justin wasn’t the best. Although the worst for me would be Ramon Vega. He seemed to always be scoring own goals, or getting carded. He was so unpredictable it wasn’t even funny. Playing alongside him in defence would be enough to make me contemplate playing a new sport. 

Greatest Spurs manager? It has to be Billy Nic. It was long before my time, but I can still admire how successful he was. His reign is legendary and I think Jol has a lot to live up to. But I think he has the potential to do it, which is pretty scary to think, let alone say.

What has been the high point and low point of the last Spurs season for you? I think this answer will be pretty similar to most. The low point has to be our shoddy cup performances. It was upsetting to go out of both so early to such opponents. But we’ll learn from it. Our high point will be getting into Europe through the league. We will do it so that’s amazing! Big highs have been the performances of Lennon and Tainio as well. They’ve really impressed me this season.

What was the first Spurs match that you saw? (WHL and TV) I haven’t ever been to White Hart Lane. My Dad has always refused to go and none of my mates are Spurs fans. Don’t really want to go on my lonesome. First match I saw on TV would’ve only been highlights on Match Of The Day years ago. Can’t remember anything about it though.

What is the most memorable Spurs match you have seen and why? I remember watching the 2-2 draw we had against arsenal in the 03/04 season in a pub. I was the only spurs fan in the place and after Vieira scored in the opening few minutes I was tempted to leave. I was getting stick all the way through the match until the final minute when Keano scored the penalty. After that I was the only one in the pub with a smile on my face. We only drew but it felt like a win because of the late goal. Superb game.

Do you own any Spurs football shirts? What designs? I got a nice old one that’s kiddy size and wouldn’t fit my teddy bear. Its got Sheringham back though so it’s still dear to me.

Favourite Spurs shirt design? I quite like the current one. Looks classy and elegant. Kind of shows we mean business I think. Plus it’s better material these days.

Do you have a job in real life? What is it? A job? God no! I’m currently in my final year of uni (at Brighton) studying accounting and finance. I’m living a quality life at the moment. Although I’ve got to start my job search very soon. Scary business.

What did you do with your spare time, before HT? I used to play a lot more footy than I do now. I was outside kicking a ball about every night. Doesn’t really happen much now though. I also used to play loads on the Playstation/PS2. Command and Conquer Red Alert Retaliation link up mode with a mate. That was some serious gaming!

Do you have a favourite Hattrick player and why? (That's an actual player and not manager) Yep, I’ve got quite a few. Carlo Hicks and John Bontein will always have a place in my heart as they were youth products that I trained up and sold for over £3m each. They were class players! My favourite dude now is Maurice Johnston. He’s my utopian playmaker that I’ve trained since buying him for £700k when he was 17. I have to sell him at the end of the season though. That’s going to be a sad sad day. Another legend is Anders Knoblom. He was top goalscorer in the top four divisions when he played for me. He was a goal machine!

What has been the highlight of the Hattrick season for you? I haven’t really had a highlight this season. I went out the cup early so it certainly wasn’t that. Possibly the conversion of loads of foreigners to English players was a highlight. I’m on my way to getting the all-English team I crave. Having a mate phone me up almost in tears because his team of 4 years had been banned for swearing in a guestbook was also pretty funny. For all those concerned – the team was Virtua Skin and he got his side back.

Who has been you best recent Hattrick signing and why? I’d say that the signing of Danny Shipton was a pretty decent one. He was damn expensive, but when a young English ET defender comes on the market, you just have to snap him up.

Do you have any players that don’t really play, but you keep them anyway? Why? Oh yes. I’ve got Enrique Alba Tercedor who I keep because he’s been at my club for ages. He was one of my first decent signings. I also keep a player called Jonathon Edwards just because he’s a superb triple jumper. I’ve also got a player called Jonathan Vohmann who’s been at my club since I joined the game. He’ll never leave.

If you had the chance, what one thing would you change in HT? A highlight program or something so that you can see 2D goals after the match is over. Wouldn’t really do much, but would be fun to watch. Sort of like Football Manager.

Everyone makes a newbie mistake when they start HT, what was yours? My mistake was that I cheated with my first team. I was banned and had to start fresh. It was silly and I’ve learnt from my mistake. I’m kind of glad it happened in a way because it means that now I can take pride from the fact I’ve got to where I have without cheating – something that I couldn’t have felt with my old team. 

What position do you train? Have you always trained the same position? I train playmaking. Always have and probably always will. Although recently I have contemplated changing to something else. But I don’t think anything else offers the same sort of financial reward.

If you were giving advice to a new Hattrick player now, what would you say? I’d say invest the max in the youth system and leave it there. Then get a decent training regime in place with a reasonable coach. Look to make quick skill trades to slowly boost your cash and slowly improve the quality of trainees. When this is done they could start using the money to improve the other players not involved in the training regime. I’d also tell them not to worry about expanding the arena as that’s damn expensive.

Have you had any rivalries with other Hattrick managers? I’ve got a few rivalries with my real life mates that play the game. There were three of us (me, Virtua Skin and Titch Utd) that started around the same time and so we’ve always been competing for the best team. We’ve held friendlies, first XI friendlies, friendly tournaments and we always compete to get the best ratings and stars. Obviously the league position is the main thing and I’m the only one who’s made it to division III so far so I’m winning.

Who is the biggest muppet in the Fed and why? I’d say we’ve got a number of contenders for this title. But my nominee for biggest fed muppet is Jacques_santini. I think some of the comments he says have no justification whatsoever and for that they have me in stitches. A quality member of the fed.

Who has been your inspiration or mentor in Hattrick? I like to think that I’ve pretty much taught myself everything I know in Hattrick. I learnt early on to read up on stuff that I didn’t understand so that aided me loads. Although I do look up to a few teams and feel inspired when I see them doing so well. Coxspurs of Potato Heads shows how good management can get you to the top, I like that.

Who makes you laugh in the Hattrick world? Loads of people! Some who are in our fed. Ldnfatso is the bluntest person in the world. Dwayne-mooney, tommytuck and halfp are all good people to have a joke with. Teekosey’s spelling used to crack me up, although it does appear to have improved. Gunshark also makes me laugh because sometimes he’s so stubborn its unreal. But that’s cool.

Favourite joke? President Bush getting elected for a second term.

What is your favourite Book? I don’t really enjoy reading and the last book I read out of choice was The Rock’s autobiography. I’m into wrestling and so it was a cool read. Anything slightly intellectual would do my nut. I’ve read Animal Farm and Lord of the Flies so I think I’m cultured enough already. 

What is your favourite TV show? There is absolutely no doubt that Lost is my favourite TV program ever. It is simply fantastic. Hustle also deserves a mention, as it’s a very clever program. I used to love The Sopranos although I’ve missed too much of it to understand it now.

Do you play any other good online games? As I said before I used to play Bruce’s Paranormal Deathmatch. That was so fun, especially when I found out a cheat that actually worked. I managed to move up the rankings about 2000 places every day. My mate’s couldn’t figure it out. Ah, those were the days. I also love the old wrestling e-feds, although I don’t really have the time to play them properly anymore. I also played Planetarium for a while and some Transformers game as well. But right now the only game I play is Hattrick.

Christina Aguilera or Britney Spears in nothing but a Spurs home shirt, you can only have one, who would it be? Nice question. I’m just going to think about this a little longer… ok. I’ve decided that it would have to be Christina. She’s a bit raunchier and that’s a huge turn on. 

Best movie of the year? Damn. Last time I attempted to fill this in I could put Star Wars Episode III, but I think that might’ve been last year now. Very annoying. In that case maybe my answer would have to be The Chronicles of Narnia. It’s the only film I’ve seen this year at the cinema! 

Best movie of all time? The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. They were all awesome. I do love gangster movies as well. 

What was the last album you bought? Good, bad, indifferent? Last albums I bought were Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard and Korn: Greatest Hits vol. I. Both albums are top notch and I’d recommend them both. Korn is a more specific taste, but still has a lot of good tracks on it. Yellowcard are a cool band and totally my kind of music.  

Favourite band of all time? Really tough question as I love my music. Blink 182 are the band that got me into music and I own all their albums so they’re a huge favourite of mine. I also love Nofx, Millencolin, Taking Back Sunday and My Chemical Romance. Oh yeah, The Pogues are a band I love as well. I go to see them every Christmas at Brixton.

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